Reality

My last post was about co-parenting and what I know it should and could be. This one is going to be about the reality for most people in this type of relationship.

Parts of this blog, will be ranting - so if that's not your thing, this isn't your post. Mmmmkay?! Check back next Tuesday for something a little more subdued! :) 

I want to start by saying, 'co-parenting is one of the most difficult things I have ever done - but I wouldn't change having made the decision to do so' - again. I think this is something that most step/bonus parents can relate to. I knew it was going to be a challenge (obviously two different houses have two different guidelines), but as the time goes on things should be easier. It would get easier. Time heals all wounds right? Maybe that is true in some cases, but not in so many others. 

I said in the previous post that the child's best interest should always come first and that you have to learn to put whatever disagreements, or dislikes for any party involved, you have aside and do what is best. I wish it were always that simple. I feel like some people can't look past any personal feelings to do what is best sometimes. Let's face it adulting is hard. 

I also feel that many people do not think both parents are equally important. A child needs, both, their mother and father. Yes, mothers carry and birth them, but that does not make them more important - or superior - despite popular belief. Each parent plays their own role and each parent is vital to the child. I feel I should also add that, a parent IS NOT DEFINED BY BIOLOGICAL TIES. Every child needs a mother figure and a father figure, even if it is not their "biological" one. 

Furthermore, I feel the need to reiterate that a child is not a toy to be tugged back and forth or dangled in front of the other parent to get what you want. You should not treat them as if their feelings don't matter, or manipulate any situation to accomodate your own agenda. Please refer to my fourth blurb to concrete this a little more. There should be no back and forth, or fighting  over the child - or around the child. Same goes for name calling. It is ridiculous. Are we not all "grown ups" here?!

This is where it becomes a little more personal for me. I get it. Maybe we haven't always been on the best of terms, but I'm not the devil. I just want to be another loving watchful protector for him and any other child in this twisted world. I would expect ANY bonus parent - or adult with a morals - to do this. The children are the ones who suffer in these complicated relationships. Let that sink in. Just remember, before you point fingers and say whatever it is that you are thinking, about whatever grudges you are holding, make sure your hands are clean. Take time to think about how you would feel if the shoe were on the other foot. Everyday doesn't have to be a walk in the park, but it shouldn't feel like a cage match either. 

God knows what he is doing and obviously our children need, many watchful loving adults in their lives. Things don't need to be difficult. Sit back, relax, and embrace the life - and families - that we have all been given.