Co-Parenting

Let me start by saying, co-parenting is one of the most difficult things I have ever done - but I wouldn't change having made the decision to do so. I love Gavin, just as if he was my own. 

I knew when I got with my, now, husband that would mean learning to co-parent with his ex - and her new husband. This has been quite the learning experience for my family. While our situation is unlike others, it is alike in that aspect, so I want to talk about what I have learned in my experience.

1. The child's, or children's, best interest should always come first. You have to learn to put whatever disagreements, or dislikes for any party involved, you have aside and do what is best for them. Especially around the holidays when everyone obviously wants to spend time with the child. This does not mean arguing over who gets Thanksgiving or who gets Christmas, but compromising and ensuring the child gets equal time with both parents.

2. Remember that both parents are equally important. A child needs both their mother and father, so don't try to make one feel like they are the lesser parent. This is not the case. 

3. A child is not a yo-yo, or a boomerang. Therefore you should not treat them as if they are a toy to be fought over.

4. Even if you absolutely can not stand the other parent, you should never bad mouth or talk down on them - especially in front of the child. Children are sponges and everything you say is absorbed, which means you could be creating a bad image for the other parent, just by what you are saying. Take time to think about how you would feel if your child thought you were a bad person.

And lastly, number 5. Step-parents, or as I like to say bonus parents, usually are not the devil and you should embrace them. (Unless of course they aren't being a good influence, and in that case protect the babies!) The same rule applies to bad mouthing them - just don't do it.  Keep in mind that any parent, step or "real" could be ugly, but most are there to love and support the child(ren).

Parenting is hard work and I'm a firm believer in the phrase "it takes a village". After all, I'm pretty sure we have all wished for a second pair of hands - maybe this was God's way of giving them to us. 

Are you a bonus parent? Do you have a bonus parent in your life? I would love to hear about your experiences below.